How do I find a man of God? Wanting but not having a man of God can be challenging and discouraging. This post gives insight into what to look for and how to approach a Godly relationship.
Main takeaway: He is not trying to keep you from good things, He just knows the best ways and times to reveal His plan. You cannot miss what the Lord has for you if you are seeking Him.
“He does not withhold the good from those who love Him”
Psalm 84:11
What to look for?
A heart for the Lord – actively pursuing Him.
- Kindness
- Compassion
- Humility
- Loyalty
- Thirsty for the Lord
“Out of the mouth is what the heart is full of.”
Matthew 15:17-19
Reputation – what does everyone say about him?
Who would you want to be the father of your children?
Someone who is invested in your friends because they care about you, and reminds you of Jesus.
Blessings of Singleness
- Allows you to build identity in Christ and not in another person and their opinions
- You can become a SOLID person, not an empty person waiting to be filled
- Focus on BECOMING the right person instead of LOOKING for the right person
What are you using to attract guys?
What you use to attract them will be what you use to keep them.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
1 Peter 3:3-4
Is it ok for a girl to ask a guy out? Should the man pursue?
Whoever makes the first move and pursues will most likely continue to be the one who pursues and leads the relationship.
Giving the man the confidence to pursue you is okay.
If he is not willing to pursue you then he is not ready for a relationship.
If he is shy, you will see small effort or hear from his friends that he is trying to give an effort.
How do I know if I am equally yoked?
Do not date an unbeliever.
Having the same Biblical morals.
The Bible states that we are to make disciples by being fruitful and multiplying, but how can you do that if you are unequally yoked?
What is the purpose of dating?
The purpose of dating is to glorify God.
If you are not helping the kingdom of God, you should not be dating.
You can advance the kingdom of God better together can you could apart.
Dating is about rejection (YOU ARE NOT MARRIED)
Do not believe you are too far deep into a relationship to break up.
You are learning your likes and dislikes for marriage.
“If you date like you’re married, your breakup will feel like a divorce.”
It’s naïve to think you will never break up with somebody – that is trying to control the situation without giving it to God. Have the approach of “Lord willing we will not break up” because you do not want to, but sometimes the Lord might have other plans.
A romantic relationship is a gift from the Lord, it is not something you deserve.
What are boundaries in a relationship?
If you are walking towards the line, it will be crossed and it will also become the new line for the next relationship you’re in. Strive to honor God in every relationship.
Spiritual boundaries are also crucial because you can start to have a spiritual tie with your significant other. This can be avoided by not reading the Bible together as your only source of quality time with God. This helps avoid the void if you break up with that person and you continue to read the Bible.
Random thoughts:
He is not going to give you the leftovers.
Guard your heart.
If you are longing and focusing on being single then you are not ready for a relationship.
What do you want your marriage story to be?
You should be able to tell your Godly friends EVERYTHING about your relationship – the Lord has placed them in your life to keep you accountable.
Don’t date for fun – it leads to attachment.
Do NOT settle and do not date potential – “why settle for good enough if God’s best is available for us?”
If a relationship is pulling you away from God you should not be in it.
Do not lower your standards, lengthen your patience.