Finding friendships as a Godly woman is a struggle. It is hard to find friendships where they are actually pursuing the Lord. This post gives insight into finding Godly friends and how to navigate different aspects of friendship.
Friendships
Friendships will be a challenge all of your life.
Friendships are very fluid
There is a season for everything and it is important to go about your friendships with an open hand posture rather than a closed tight fist. The analogy means that you are open to the option of the Lord taking people out of your life but also bringing them into it. It is a beautiful thing to see God formulate who is in your life for what season. Having a heart of thankfulness rather than bitterness can change your perspective.
How to find Godly friendships
You have to put yourself in situations where you would find Godly friends – church’s young adult group and Bible studies, not at a party or at a bar.
You are only in college once so do not waste this opportunity of having so many people your age around you
It takes time to discern someone’s character so do not be discouraged
Be intentional with reaching out because most of the times you will have to be the one to reach out
Ask God to send those kinds of friends to you
Components of a good friendship:
- Practice staying in touch
- Asking deep questions
- Giving honest answers
- Resolving conflict
- Showing up for each other
- Friends that comfort you in hard times BUT also those who celebrate your successes (especially spiritual successes).
How to let go of an unhealthy friendship/boundaries
We live in a fallen world and some people unfortunately are not trustworthy
Sometimes you cannot be up close and personal/good friends with someone because of how they act
Never burn bridges because the Lord calls us to love one another and be kind, and He could also circle that person back around in your life for a different season
“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.”
Galatians 6:7
Boundaries are a good and loving thing for you and the other person, especially if they are living for the world
Boundaries are set so that you can show love from afar but not get pulled down because it is easier for someone to pull you down than it is to lift them up.
Show kindness and pray for that person who is choosing to live for the world.
Pray that the Lord will put someone in their life who can help them in ways that you cannot.
Maybe by setting those boundaries and having distance, you can bring them back to Christ by showing them what living for God looks life.
If it is an extremely close friendship that is unhealthy, sometimes the best thing you can do to help them is talk to them about the boundaries you are setting and why you are setting them. Sometimes that can be the thing that makes them realize what they are doing is not worth it if they lose your friendship.
It is never worth it for a friend to jeopardize what the Lord has for you just to keep that friendship.
God + Friendships
God displays the kind of person you should be, so you cannot control the other person in the friendship, be the friend He wants you to be and the person He has called you to.
Sometimes we put our friends on a pedestal over God and that is why we get hurt if they do something wrong. We don’t always recognize that we all fall short but since they are on that pedestal, they replace God in our lives.
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”
Jeremiah 29:11
Click here for a podcast episode by Mary Lauren Burdeshaw giving more information and advice